


Repress.

by britishngay



Series: Come over [7]
Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: But i quite like it, Chandler is kinda sad but she's okay, F/F, So this is kinda a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23162779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/britishngay/pseuds/britishngay
Summary: Heather leaves your car with a small, secretive smile and a short nod then skips to her house.You spend a second outside her house, your nails – or talons as Mac names them – drumming on steering wheel. You’re split about what to do. You want to home and wallow, lying in bed, maybe listen to some Bonnie Tyler. But, you don’t really want to be alone right now, not that anything bad would happen, you just want to be around others.(Takes place after Obvious)
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer
Series: Come over [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1454131
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	Repress.

Heather leaves your car with a small, secretive smile and a short nod then skips to her house. Which, damn, it really is massive, she really is rich isn’t she.

You spend a second outside her house, your nails – or talons as Mac names them – drumming on steering wheel. You’re split about what to do. You want to home and wallow, lying in bed, maybe listen to some Bonnie Tyler. But, you don’t really want to be alone right now, not that anything bad would happen, you just want to be around others.

The car is empty without Mac, her presence makes you feel calmer and the air when she’s around is more energetic without being too overwhelming. Maybe you should go and ask Mac if you could stay. She would say yes and give you a hug and let you watch a scary movie even though she would be scared shitless. You don’t say, or act on it, enough but Mac is one of the only people that you can fully and wholly trust, she wouldn’t betray you for popularity, or tell anyone about this – or would she?  
Let’s not get into this now.

What you really want to do is go over to Veronica’s house, you don’t even have to fuck, you don’t even have to talk, you just want to be near her. You remember a few weeks back when you were lying in your bed, you were still getting used to her staying over at this point. It was cold that night, one of the first frosts of November when the air is starting to chill. She was warm, you were lying on her and you spoke, it was rare, normally you just slept or stared at your ceiling in silence, mulling over whatever this was. 

“What’re you doing after this?” She had said, you felt her chest vibrate with her words. She spoke quietly, as if she spoke at a normal volume it would burst the small moment that will never be talked about again because nothing is happening besides sex. This whole thing means nothing, when it really does mean something but you’re too damn afraid to try anything.

“Preferably going to sleep Veronica.” You said into her neck, going for the wry path over actual feelings. Feelings are dangerous. You can practically feel her roll her eyes.

“You know what I mean.” 

“Going to College, far away from here. “ You said, it must’ve been surprising, a girl so popular going so far. Maybe then you could start again, without everyone knowing your name. Without people knowing you as ‘Heather Chandler’, the almighty, the one who made Jessica Courts cry in third period gym for simply sitting in your unofficial spot in the bleachers. She hummed, slowly stroking up and down your back. Her hands were kind and soft, unlike how they were half an hour ago, it was comforting. 

“I don’t know what to do yet.” You confessed. Her hand stilled.

“That’s okay Heather.” Her voice was somehow even quieter and she made a move to look at you, you rested your chin on her chest bone, above a mark that you left when she was making you cum for a third time and you were a mess, only being able to grab and kiss and bite her. Her eyes were affectionate while she looked at you, they looked like the coffee that Veronica practically lives off, like the Whiskey your father drowns too often, like the thick doors at Veronica’s house – strong, keeps the sound out, makes you feel safe.

“Is it?” Your voice was horrifyingly small, not just quiet, but slightly frail. 

“We’re only seventeen, it’s okay to not know.” She smiled slightly and your heart fell a bit more, how does she not know what she’s doing to you? You nodded once and rested your head on her chest again, you felt soft lips peck at your hairline and you wriggled further into her. You remained in silence again, her hand moving and you drifting off before you realised that you had never asked her.

“Do you know?”

“I want to be a journalist.”

You laughed quietly. You could see that, her bustling around, pen forever behind her ear, complaining about the office coffee and the boss giving her shit stories. You could see her future, why can’t you see your own? She smiled at you again and suddenly you’re fears diminished, it felt like nothing was happening outside of your room.

You slept well after that. She left before you woke and it made you bitterer than you like to remember, but at least your pillow smelt like her and you would never admit it – maybe not even to Mac – but you slept on it for the next two days. You never talked about it again, the next time you refused to let her sleep over, pretending to go to sleep instead. You heard her bitter sigh and her quietly hurt, ‘Night Heather,’ before she left a small kiss on your head and slipped out the window. She’s never able to do that quietly, it’s a wonder that your parent’s don’t hear. Actually, you could drink Drano and die in your room and your parents wouldn’t notice, but you appreciate the sentiment of sneaking out. Hearing her sigh hit your soul in a way you never thought it could though. You could imagine her face, eyebrows furrowed, lips turned down – she probably shook her head a bit too. You need to stop thinking about this, it made your stomach turn and your heart ache.

You don’t know how long you were outside of Mac’s house, but it was too long, probably. 

You finally turn the keys in the ignition and your car comes alive.

You want to go to Veronica’s, but you won’t, you refuse to do it.

Instead you drive home. The streets, which all look the same, remind you of all the times you got lost on the way home from school as a child – your parents were never the best at remembering to pick you up, and if they did, they would just drag you home without any conversations, without any hugs or love, just a couple of shouts then they would get to work immediately while you sat on the sofa, confused and alone.

And people wonder why you enjoy people fearing you instead of loving you.

Although you are starting to see the appeal of having someone to love you.

Your goddamn arrangement is starting to change into something that you can’t control. You love being in control, at least everywhere except your bedroom. 

Your mind drifts back to your conversation with Mac while you pull into your house. Even if she’s right with Veronica liking you the same way you can’t risk it, you don’t even want to think about it. Its dark outside now, you must’ve been outside Mac’s house for at least half an hour. You walk through to your kitchen and come face to face with your Mother. You’re dreading any interaction you have with her.

“What time do you call this Heather?” You look at the clock. It’s 7:30. Her tone is sharp and pointed, she’s been drinking.

“I was dropping Mac at home.” She looks at you like a hawk looks at their prey. You wonder if that’s what you look like when you make a freshman cry, you hope not. You hope you at least have fire in your eyes instead the dead, terrifying look in her eyes. She cocks her head to the side.

“And you think that’s an excuse?”

“Mother please, it’s 7:30. It’s hardly late.” 

“You’re grounded, one month. No one comes over, you only leave for school. Your phone will be taken away for two weeks.” 

Your mouth opens and closes but you can’t find it in you to argue. You can barely argue with her on a good day, you find it too hard, but today has been so emotionally draining that you just stand there, looking like a fish.

You walk up the stairs in a haze, your steps are heavy against the wood. Your room is welcoming and lonely at the same time. 

Then it hits you. 

How will you call Veronica? You can’t talk to her in school like you want to fuck her, you can’t ask her to come over after English again. You won’t allow yourself to stoop like that again, you can’t handle the emotional fallout, especially with Mac finding out. And it's Christmas break in a few days, you're going to be bored as fuck the entire holiday at this rate, maybe you could call her once your phone is back. 

No, you will cold turkey Veronica Sawyer, even if it kills you. You have to cut yourself off before it gets too much – even though it already is.

You will do the classic Heather Chandler and repress.

(Maybe you'll call her once or twice.)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed xx
> 
> Comments mean the world, but please don't feel pressured.


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